This should be the model. This is what the Vatican seems to be determined to destroy.
Moreover, there are older women with vocations, like S Francesca Romana, who have so much to give.
From CWR
106-year-old nun continues serving in the cloister and sharing the Gospel on YouTube
She went into religious life at 70 after her mother died. Since, she’s been taking care of elderly sisters (!) and using Youtube.
The Perpetual Adorers of the Blessed Sacrament are a contemplative, cloistered order of women whose life is centered on the continuous adoration of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.
This is what the powers that be in the Vatican controlling religious life want to destroy.
Correct me if I am wrong, please.
I cannot tell you what hope this gives me — despite its dark clouds. I was under the impression that the chance for religious life ended at about age 35 because it is admittedly difficult to “teach an old dog new tricks.” Alas, but no one — not even the dark powers that be in the Vatican — can stop a compassionate, generous heart. God bless that nun and all like her!
Nothing in the heartwarming CWR article suggests the Vatican is seeking to destroy the 106 year old Sister Anna Maria or her 219 year old cloistered monastery.
I think it’s fair to suggest that you may be experiencing a period of mourning and loss which tends to produce and exacerbate negative thoughts and emotions.